Reacting to circumstances is an ADDICTION, and the addict can not find the desired end state, satisfaction, in temporary things.
Learn how to master your state, understanding that you are the only consciousness, and know what is an addiction vs what is a “desire”
Working in addiction, detox and relapse prevention, I discovered something. I found that the addict’s cravings and needs are deeper, because the void is deeper. The void is deeper because the spirituality of the addict is deeper. The addict among us can’t drown their pain with relationships, with food, or with the usual ways, so they reached for something heavier. Their void is deeper, and as a part of balancing forces, their spirituality is deeper. Noticing these ways that people reach for a fix, in their own way, has made me clearly understand that any disempowered relationship to any outer substance, person, or behavior, is in its own way, an addiction. The concept of “reacting to circumstances” that LOA brings up, is at its core, a call to take your power back. Nothing outside of self has any power over us, unless we assign power to it. The power to make us feel better. This is the exploration of todays post. Master your state, NO MATTER WHAT.
The deeper need is a deeper need for LOVE, for affection and for CONNECTION. A need for acceptance, a need for being seen and heard, but most of all, the need for the bliss of spiritual awakening, and oneness. This need is not obvious to the addicts, or even to most people, it is revealed to us as we go through life, either as we achieve all our dreams and still have a yearning for something, or as we encounter difficulties that force us there. But the shortcut is to go straight there. Seek first the kingdom!
Along with this need we also have the need for relating harmoniously with loved ones, especially with our partner, and, especially, but also, for harmoniously with all of humanity. Relating in a way that is not based on FEAR and DREAD, with a sense of anxiety or a sense of pressure. “I’m afraid”, “I’m afraid that I will be hurt”, “I’m afraid that you will leave me”, “I’m afraid that I will be ridiculed”, “I’m afraid to outright admit to myself what my true desires are because I might never get them”, and so on.
We have hardwired into us, the need for love that is based on the depth of connection, a love that is based on the BEAUTY of ATTACHMENT. Our cultures have had us depart quite far from this, so most people seek other things as a means to GET this connection that we need. We seek money, fame, success, beauty, and all sorts of other things that are supposed to give us love and connation. This depth of love and connection can happen in the heart that is comfortably aware of being love itself, of being continuously connected through the heart, to the divinity, at all times. It doesn’t happen through manipulation.
In this post I will talk about addictions to things, specific situations, specific person, to having things your way, and to love or relationships, and fear, anxiety, anger or ego driven demands on people, and how this is caused by an addiction to circumstances.
Love is the ultimate desire, in its unconditional and awakened form. Even if a person is unaware of this desire at this time, this is the ultimate desire for all.
In certain states of mind, this desire is replaced with the desire for things or people. This is such a common state of mind that we accept it as the norm, but we are not staying stuck in that stale old state of mind, we are on a path of discovering our divine nature.
Beginning this journey of recovering from reacting to circumstances goes through four steps:
1) love and empathy for self
2) loving others
3) loving the whole.
4) Understand that you are being loved by the divine, and the divine sees no division.
The summary is simply love, as a universal and unconditional force, but we begin with considering that we ourselves are part of that love.
A love that is based on the depth of connection….
A love that is based on the beauty of attachment….
Has your culture caused you to deny yourself this simple, human, desire for true harmonious connection?
The Law Of Assumption, as the current name is for these teachings of manifesting, manifesting with awareness, and understanding that our inner reflects out as our experience, forces us to look at things very differently. These teachings are eye opening, it is the bridge between spirituality, the physical experience and psychology. In some ways LOA is The missing piece. But without understanding that the unconditional love for the whole is always everyone’s true nature, whether we are aware of it in our current state, or not, this practice can make the addiction worse. The greatest reward for the happiness of discovering the nature of love, is happiness and love itself. If the only reason you hold yourself back from realizing, and from admitting your desires, is that you will not get them, listen, this is all for you. If you are chasing circumstances as if they had power to trigger you, this is for you.
By now, you all know about the mirrored consciousness, EIYPO, at least if you have been following this blog. Everything and everyone is a reflection, a mirror of our own consciousness. Nothing in this world is not a mirror. In your experience, you are grappling with your own reflected consciousness. In the world, we are grappling with the reelection of each others relationships. If everyone started by healing within, and then healing their relationships, and then healing THEIR view of the world, we would experience “Eden”. We all individually have the power to experience our own “Garden of Eden”. You might understand this on an intellectual level, but today we will bring this understanding into the heart space as well, because THAT is where we can personally experience our “garden of Eden” our ” kingdom of heaven”. The mind and the heart can be light years apart, so bridging this distance creates the fulfilment that you are seeking. But how?
Oneness between you and God.
Oneness between mind and body.
Oneness between your animal instincts and your divine nature.
Oneness between yourself and all of humanity.
There is one way to experience oneness and it is to become present, and to become present you must feel your own emotions, it is much easier not to feel them, to run from them. To overeat instead. To put all your focus on a specific person instead. To strive to keep up with the Joneses instead. To have a drink. To over exercise. To create an artificial sequence of events that becomes a MUST to feel relief. But all behaviors that lead outward, away from your own heart, ultimately leads away from our desired experience oneness. There is a deep bliss inside of all of us, but it is hidden under the pain of yearning in most.
These behaviors are an addiction. Not only substances and clearly negative destructive behavior is an addiction. Any dependence on the VOID, which is what the circumstances are , is an addiction.
The circumstances are the void.
There is no other void.
The world is a mirror forever reflecting what you are doing within yourselfNeville Goddard
Our divine nature located within the heart, and our divine nature is felt as satisfaction, and fulfillment, and bliss.
To not experience the void, or the feeling of being lost, to not experience knee jerk reactions and being triggered, it is necessary to turn our attention around to the heart, and this requires us becoming present. The more present, the more you will be able to experience bliss and fulfillment. You have heard this before, being present, but how?
You can’t go from a fear based relationship (to the world, or to your SP) unless you get in touch with your emotions. Getting in touch with your own emotions happens in the present moment. If you want a relationship to the world that celebrates love and connection with every neuron, then you can’t suppress and reject who you are. This doesn’t meant “sitting” with your emotions, and it doesn’t mean “purging”. It means to be present with yourself.
Manifesting is all about being present.
Manifesting is NOW.
What are you afraid of?
Ask yourself, “What do I want, what do I yearn for?
What do I need?
Don’t bury yourself under hypocrisy or spiritual bypassing.
Don’t use LOA as a means to gaslight yourself.
If you do, it will always backfire on you. Why? Because you ARE reflected consciousness, and your own lack of empathy for YOURSELF will be shown to you through your circumstances. It is like Neville said:
“Those that go searching for love only make manifest their own lovelessness, and the loveless never find love, only the loving find love, and they never have to seek for it.”D.H Lawrence
― D.H. Lawrence
(Actually it was D. H. Lawrence that said it, but Neville quotes him.)
WE have the power to change, and by that change, our lives change. We change by understanding that states of consciousness, or states of mind contains the current experience, and a state can be changed. A change of state brings with it a change of emotions, thoughts, behaviors and so on. By changing state, the reflection also changes. The reflection is the circumstances. This is why the circumstances are the void, there is NOTHING there, it all begins within. You can learn this “the hard way” or you can choose to explore it right here and now. You are free, and have been given free will to change state at a moments notice. Nothing is required from you first.
Why is it that reacting to circumstance is an addiction?
Circumstances are YOUR mirror,
Chasing a circumstance is like chasing a mirage in the desert, it just keeps disappearing, It isn’t really there. When we seek happiness in circumstances it is the same way, the happiness just keeps disappearing, because it isn’t really there. The happiness is within, and if you seek for it there, it naturally reflects out. The reflection of happiness is cast from its own source, a source that is shining through us, and reflects onto the screen of space. Like a projector in an old school movie theater. The light bulb in the projector is our consciousness, and the movie showing is our inner that shines onto the screen of space. Behind all that, in the little room that holds the projector and the movie reel, sits a person who is operating the projector. This person does not fall for the seeming reality of the movie, he has seen it hundreds of time. THIS is your true nature. Be this person, and know that you can change the movie reel if you want to.
Attempting to change your life by becoming dependent on a certain set of circumstances, is like believing that the movie is real.
Seek first the Kingdom of God means to be aware at all times, that a lightbulb is shining a light through a projector, and to keep your focus on that.
If you DON’T “seek the Kingdom first”, then you are falling for the seeming reality of a movie.
You are chasing a mirage.
Another way of saying this is “Let Go”.
“When something really really really matters to you, LET IT GO!
Say to the universe:
” You know what I want. Give it to me in the path of least resistance. Give it to me the easiest way as possible.”-Abraham Hicks
Let go of believing that circumstances have power.
You have to “love” yourself first, BUT, Yourself is the I am that creates the circumstances. The void. This self does not refer to the ego self. The egos self creates divisions, creates more circumstances, and if you try to “love yourself” from that standpoint, you have to first split yourself into two, first create a self to love, and a self that loves, otherwise, how do you love yourself? This just creates more division, and not a greater experience of oneness. Instead, just think of LOVE in a greater sense, and know that the greater love, applies to all, and that includes you.
Again: The four step thought process:
1) love and empathy for self .
2) loving others .
3) loving the whole.
4) Understand that you are being loved by the divine, and the divine sees no division.
To make this concept more accessible, and less esoteric, I will clarify how this is different from “self love”.
Everyone has their own unique definition of love, and it is related to our state of mind, our level of consciousness. I don’t use the term self love for that very reason, there are too many interpretations of love. LOA is based on the nonduality teachings of for example Vedanta, Kabbalah, and Tantra and so on, which are all teachings that transcend the concepts of the mind.
Transcending is: Love based in consciousness, not mind.
Imagine that a nondual spiritual teaching is based on oneness.
Love thy neighbors as thyself because the neighbors is thyself. Not only that, the neighbor is God. So self love is really JUST love. But a love that encompasses ALSO yourself. Imagine that you might feel love for someone else who has made a mistake, now imagine that the same love also includes yourself. You also get compassion and empathy if there is a mistake made, or if you have flaws in your personality.
When for example a person who has not had a transcendent awakening experience, is told to self love, they think of their ego self, the part of self that causes the split and the division among all of humanity in the fist place. THIS DOESN’T WORK, because THIS self, the EGO self, wants love from others, noy from self. When a person who has had an awakening experience thinks of “loving self” , they can’t because ALL is self. That is the transcendent oneness experience. There is no self from that state of consciousness, so remember that when you hear the term “self love”. All is self, and there is no self. Love is all.
It is necessary to transcend the egoic concept of self in order to experience, on an internal level, what oneness feels like, and love is all that there is from that state of consciousness.
On an egoic level, self love is yet another divide. One part of self that tries to love another part. Lets’ make the distinction now, so that you can move go through the four steps of recovering from addiction to circumstances. Instead of thinking “self love” think GRREATER love that encompasses you as well.
The word “love’ is enough in and of itself, there is no need to talk about “self love”. Just love.
If you are hurting. Love.
If your are craving. Love.
If your have been rejected, love.
If you have been cheated on, lied to and betrayed, love.
Imagine if a baby is sad and crying, you juts apply love. Love and soothing comfort, but you don’t create a division in your mind about “the baby” “I have to love the baby”. You JUST love. I want this to really sink in, because people feel a lot of confusion around the “self love” concept, and rightfully so. This is why I don’t usually use this term.
Rather than self love, just use the word love, and use it the way it would be used if an infant was crying. This way it is innate in you, a universal, instinctual and unconditional love. Just love. Whatever the problem may be, still, just love. FOR the hurting part. All parts are mistakenly identified as parts, but they are part of a whole.
When the “self love” topic is discussed, the intention is to put the oxygen mask on self first, no other mental gymnastics is needed. Fill your own cup, so that you can share from a full cup.
Today, we often hear about self care as well, and this comes down to the very basics, it isn’t harder than that. Self care is not a course you sign up for, it is not a 10 card at a hot yoga studio, although it CAN be those things too. Self care is taking a shower every day. Self care is paying the bills on time. Self care is having your own income, and going to work, or showing up for your own business as scheduled. Self care is being present with your own emotions and having empathy for yourself. Holding space for yourself.
Self care is showing empathy for your self when you are in pain, when you are crying, when you are angered, when you are jealous.
These are actionable steps, not an esoteric lofty idea of “self love”.
Showing empathy for yourself means that you give yourself space to feel the way a human feels.
What does empathy mean? It means that instead of saying “what is wrong with you“? You say: “What happened to you to make you feel this way“?
Do you blame and shame yourself?
Apply love towards the shame, and have empathy for yourself for having been hurt. Those are actionable steps of showing love.
You must have empathy for yourself before you can have empathy for another, you can never have empathy for another unless you have it for yourself, the only thing that will happen is that when they go though a difficult time, and they feel unseen, or unheard, or unloved by you and they bring it up, it will trigger your own wounds and you will respond in defensiveness. It is that simple. You will be triggered by their unhealed wounds because you refused to heal your own.
You are god, God is self. But if you are addicted to a certain type of circumstance, then you are an unhealed Godself who has built a wall around your heart. And the heart is your only access point to your Godself. You created a separation from you and your divinity, and also a separation from everyone that you want to feel a connection with.
There is no one to change but self: that self is simply your awareness, your consciousness and the world in which it lives is determined by the concept you hold of self.Neville Goddard
Empathy for self
If you don’t create space for your pain, you will have no space for their pain.
If your SP is triggering you badly, watch what is happening in your heart and soul, and your nervous system and create space for you to heal this, Before you react to them, make sure that you have taken the log out of your own eye.
If YOU can’t go from your reptilian, limbic system brain, to your divinity, how will you show love and empathy? If you are in your reptilian brain there is no way that you can tune into the frequency of your divinity. Two different states. Do you want to develop relationships that are not based on fear?
The divine state is transcendent.
It is still a state. A state of mind, an attitude of mind, a state of consciousness.
If you are in survival mode you tune into rational or irrational consciousness. But, you can not tune into transcendent consciousness. You’ll be defensive. Angry. Afraid. Full of dread.
When you are triggered there is a tiger in the room, and it has you cornered. A wild animal has cornered you.
Some of you try to apply affirmations or techniques from that state, or you try to meditate and use all these techniques to feel better but when you are triggered, those methods don’t work. If there was a real tiger attacking you right now, would you think, “Oh, I should say my affirmations right now”? No, you would run.
When for example, your girlfriend, who is your third girlfriend since your very painful divorce that you still haven’t recovered from, asks you about how to make the combined Christmas Hannukah plans, and you get triggered, it isn’t because she is a horrible person, just like your ex wife, and all those others, no it is because you haven’t had self empathy, so you haven’t allowed space for yourself to heal from a childhood filled with trauma around divorce and holidays where you were unheard unseen, forgotten, or used as a pawn. That is what TRIGGERED is. An unhealed wound within. Suddenly you react as if there is a wild tiger attacking you and you destroy this relationship too. THEN you want to manifest that “your girlfriends conforms to you” and you start with your affirmations…. because that is the toxicity that LOA has provided you with, and it is just easier, to believe that you are a puppet master, that SHE doesn’t have FREE WILL, than to you take the log out of your own eye. THIS is why REACTING to CIRCUMSTANCES are an ADDICTION. You create a false sequence of events that is crafted so that you will never have to face your own wounds, and heal them by having empathy for your own painful experience.
It is a behavior pattern that you employ as a defense, INSTEAD of healing.
Just like reaching for alcohol, is a defense that has been created INSTEAD of facing the situation.
Eventually this has become habitual.
The remedy is:
To heal your own wounds by giving space to yourself and having empathy for what you have been through
You are possibly from a generation that swept everything under the rug so maybe you don’t even know what I am talking about. So you decide that “making your SP conform” is the way to go.
NOW, Your heart is even more walled off from yourself, and your reptilian self has a mountain between itself and your divine self. You are addicted to the circumstances “never triggering you“, because you are to afraid to feel what you are actually feeling, and too afraid to admit to what you are actually wanting: A deeper connection, to be seen, to be beautifully attached, and to feel a strong loving need for someone that you can depend on to be there for you and with you no matter what has happened to you in the past. Someone who doesn’t say “what is wrong with you”, but rather: “what happened to you to hurt you so?”. That someone also has to be you. You ,for yourself, before you can be that for someone else. THAT is self care. That is empathy for yourself. THEN, your inner reflects out very differently. As compassionate and empathic. THEN when you bump into a mirror image of unhealed wounds, you will not be triggered. You have learned a new skill. Empathy for yourself, and that leads to empathy for others.
So what am I saying with this?
Don’t be afraid.
Don’t be afraid of broken places.
Don’t be afraid of broken people, even if they are your relatives, even if they are your parents’ or children. Even if it is your sp.
Don’t be afraid of your own brokenness.
Don’t be afraid of broken souls.
Don’t be afraid of confronting broken places.
The divinity in you is greater than all of that, and heals everything as you allow for the divinity enter into your consciousness.
Godself does not have to be a puppet master, Godself has free will and gives free will. Because he doesn’t need to control.
We like to see wholeness, and positivity, but we are always confronted with brokenness. How we meet this brokenness, is how we dealt with our own hurt.
When we create space for ourselves to be healed, we give space to our loved ones to do the same, and you develop the courage to believe in the dream of the heart.
If you can look your SP in the eyes and really hold space for their triggered pain, becoming and empathetic witness for their pain then you can become a catalyst for their healing. This where magical healing can take place, but it starts with your self. THIS has nothing to do with making your SP conform. THIS is you understanding that LOVE is what makes us all one. An it has NOTHING to do with violating your own boundaries, or letting an SP walk all over you.
Real love is an emotion that intensifies throughout life. Creating this takes courage.
LOA has in some ways become a community of toxicity, there is nothing painful allowed to exist. Only peace, and perfection. Only abundance and “getting “what you want. Hiding wounds. Again, this is covered up with the concept of “self love”, but, whilst gaslighting yourself. Again, imagine the crying infant, and whatever you would NOT do to that infant, do not do it to you, or to your sp.
There is no separation.
The illusion of separation begins as soon as we believe ourselves to be separate from one another and separate from God. There is no one part of yourself that has to love another part of self. It is JUST love. Expansive, unconditional love. Not constricting, conditional love.
Your circumstances are a perfect holographic reflection, a projection of your inner world, and an addiction is any belief in any circumstance person or substance outside of yourself as having any power over you. Nothing has power over you, your state has no power over you. You always has the power to change states.
A belief hat the circumstance is separate from us is our first mistake
Mistake number two is that we give the circumstance the power over us.
This is what an addiction is in a nutshell. A belief that something has POWER OVER US. It can be alcohol, or drugs, or sex or smoking. Those are recognized forms of addiction, but there IS NO OTHER addiction, no matter how specific we get besides giving power away. Is it gambling? Same thing. Is it a need from your SP to NEVER TRIGGER YOU? Same thing.
Point Blank there is no other addiction than “giving power away” to a sequence of events that is supposed to momentarily cover our unhealed self.
The hands down easiest LOA technique is an NLP version of Neville Goddard’s imaginal scene, it is called switching. In short, you face a reaction within you, and this causes an active imagination of a negative sequence of events that you believe will happen, but before you allow that imagination to spiral, you take charge, and replace it with an image of your ideal self. I can talk more about this if you guys want me to. The image should have no content, it is an energy of how you feel when you experience your self as your ideal self. This switching technique don’t work so well for unhealed people who are used to suppressing every emotion, so before you master manifesting you have to get honest.
Step two, love others.
The LOA puppet master community that teaches nonsense like “making someone conform”, whilst forgetting that God would never need to do that. God always knows that as within, so without. And…how can someone else truly love you if you are s full of yourself? If you are “Gods gift to humanity” how can love even exist?
We are all God in human form, literally God. Not just you. No one will ever love you as much as you love yourself. Sure. This is being taught all over the place. But if you stop there, you might as well skip love and romance and marry yourself. Why bother being with someone then?
How can you ever truly love someone else and how can they ever truly love you? There is a difference between selfish love and selfless love. If all you want is to have your own needs met, eventually, this love will fade. If they always try to “get something from you, but they reject your needs, eventually this love WILL disappear. If there is a limit to the discomfort that you will go through from you SP your love will be fleeting.
Life long love has to be selfless. Please get this. Unless you bring in the divinity within, within you and WITHIN THEM this type of life long selfless love can not be experienced.
This is why LOA, even though being the PERFECT TOOL for experiencing this life long, deep love, often lead you down the wrong path. Instead of believing this, coaches lead you astray, and make the teachings less, by telling you that “sp will conform to you”. You can continue believing this as long as you want to, but you’ll come back when you have disappointed yourself enough times, wondering what else you can do.
Step 2 in the recovering your addiction to circumstances is LOVE OTHERS , not control others.
Let’s get back to the basics before we end this sequence.
You manifest what you are not what you want.
So in the state of addiction, what are you?
You are needy , you are craving, you are desperation.
In the state of the divided egoic “self love” what are you manifesting? A mirror image of the same. MAYBE nobody can love you exactly the way you love yourself, but MAYBE, another person, your SP, has something else to show you, a different love, something that will grow you and expand your heart? Maybe this is how your love can deepen.
If you use LOA as a means to control your circumstances, you will be on a constant search for love, forever unfulfilled, so EVEN THOUGH, the fist step is love and empathy for self, THE SECOND STEP is LOVE OTHERS AS THYSELF.
You matter, what you think and feel and say matters, but so do others.
Step two is love others as if they were yourself, because they are yourself, we are connected as one, and seeing and experiencing this truth has to start somewhere, and what better place than with the one you love? Try to become utterly selfless, give to them, carry them trough their hard times, and don’t let them down. This is step two, and not step one, because unless you have experienced the ability to have empathy for yourself you will not be able to love another person this way. You will recoil at the very idea.
MANIFESTING is the recognition that your inner reflects outward. WHY would you then be afraid to fully love and deeply commit to love? The only reason is because you haven’t healed on the inside and you know that your unlovingness is going to be reflected back to you.
In order for something to work long term, it has TO BE long term. It takes five to seven years just to build and establish trust, according to studies. We see love has an instant emotion, mostly thanks to movies and pop-culture, but when that fades, we blame the other.
The inner reflects out. Why are you still blaming circumstances, why are you still blaming others? Why are you still chasing the high of infatuation FROM ANOTHER. Establish now, that you WILL experience a life long love that grows deeper and more and more intimate over time, not the other wat around.
When you have understood and started to apply empathy towards your self, and you begin to genuinely experience fearless empathy to wards your SP, you have tipped the scales. Your dominant energy has become love.
Take this to heart. It is real, and it is what you need to hear.
An addiction wants to keep the addiction going.
It is the nature of the addiction to want to keep it going.
An alcoholic wants his alcohol.
A drug addict wants his drugs.
A sex addict wants his sex.
An unhealed person wants their partner to provide them with their needs.
An unhealed person wants to never be triggered.
If you are in a relationship and you a giving but you are not getting your needs met, or you want marriage but you are actually afraid of marriage at the same time:
“I am scared that I will be seen as inferior.”
Children who are criticized, learn that only those who are brilliant, or beautiful, or talented are worthy of love. Even though they may dream of love, and meeting someone who will love them exactly as they are, still think that the only people who can or would love them exactly as they are would have to a be a complete idiot or a total looser. WHY would I want a person like that? This fear when unhealed means that yo can ATTRACT love, go on dates, have short term relationships with a GREAT person but the fear is that eventually, they will find out about you. You won’t be able to keep up the appearances and they will leave you. So what do you do? you keep people at a distance, this way, others will not discover the awful truth about you.
Come back to step one, empathy for self, what would you say to yourself if this was you? Or if someone else came to you and asked what they should do, what would you tell them?
1. You can fake it till you make it, pretend that you have high self esteem, role play with yourself.
2. Pick a qualities you ARE sure about that is good about you. There is at least one quality about yourself hat you know for a fact, is good, and is also true. Feel into the state of knowing this truth, and superimpose that feeling onto your low self esteem.
This is LOA. This is shifting state. It is using the imaginal scene, without content, with only an image of your ideal self.
Remember that nobody is prefect, and you don’t have to be either, and you can be loved BY THE ONE YOU LOVE.
There are so many beliefs and messages that we receive about marriage and relationships and this is the only thing that you have to solve. Just sit down with yourself for a while and really get to the bottom of your belief, and then decide to change that. Don’t ‘try”, there is only doing.
If you feel that you are giving more than you are receiving that simply means that you stopped loving. In a real lifelong relationship there is no longer any such thing as selfish love, you have taken the step to embrace the divinity with you and them, now you have to live and love by that choice. Love thy neighbor as thy self. AS THYSELF. This is why we went over how important it is to embrace a love that encompasses yourself.
“I’m scared of the unknown”
“What if” scenarios can run rampant. To overcome this face your fears and embrace the unknown. Decide to do all the things that you are afraid of, (except for dangerous things obviously). Change the unknown into “adventure” and” playfulness“, and decide to keep an open mind.
Do all these healing things OUTSIDE of the relationship. In your mind, take yourself out of the relationship, always do this when you work through your issues, otherwise your work is only done with an ulterior motive. There is nothing WRONG with having an ulterior motive, and there is nothing wrong with doing healing work together, but the result won’t happen in the same way. Work empathically with yourself, for yourself, and your results will be real and quick.
Always go straight for the “end”. meaning, do not qualify one manifestation on another. If you want happiness, just go straight to happiness, for example.
(By the way, it is impossible to manifest bad or evil things, I’ll just throw that in here, universal law prevents evil from manifesting because it belongs to the “mirage” to the void. I won’t go into that anymore here, but keep it in mind. Florence Scovel Shinn had an affirmation: “Evil is unreal, and leaves no stain”.) So
“I’m scared to marry someone less than I”
This is what I call the “vacation poster” manifester. People more and more are raise to believe that no one is good enough for them, they have been showered in self esteem, which is great, but nobody can ever be good enough. There might be physical perfectionism, “they are not beautiful enough” or emotional perfectionism, or even spiritual perfectionism, they believe that they are “the elite”, and it is if they are already married to this ideal. the vacation poster.
The truth is that love requires vulnerability, and manifesting only happens in the now. Now is the appointed hour. Becoming present is very hard for a perfect specimen, for Gods gift to mankind.
They are married to a fantasy, and they want nothing else. If you are perfect, and nobody is good enough for you, choose only three things that you can’t live without. A sense of humor, kindness, or whatever it may be, and loosen up on everything else.
Vow to be vulnerable in all your interactions, and to seek in your own heart for how you feel. Do an exercise that is just for you, write down one thousand things that you demand from your potential partner, that they must have and be for you to consider them, and then throw that list out.
Realize how absurd it is. Keep your list of three must haves, and rather than creating a “vacation poster” ideal of love, feel into how you would feel if you were in the arms of your soulmate. How does your heart beat, how does it feel to inhale the scent of him or her, what does it feel like when they look into your eyes with love. This is your ideal.
(There are so many more ways our beliefs can be opposite of what we want, these were just a few.)
Loving the whole
There are so many ways that we build walls against love, and instead of examining these walls and tearing them down, we look for substitutes to love, and this is where our fear of circumstances are created.
Don’t fear tearing down these walls.
When you are addicted to circumstance it is just like a substance addiction, but it is a behavior and an outcome that activates you, learning how to turn your focus around to your divinity instead, is “seeking the kingdom” and you will have all those things added unto you. What this means at its core, is that if you seek only your own divinity, everything that you ever wanted will be yours anyway, but NOT the things that are “evil”, “harmful”, or “bad”, because those things belong to a mirage. The mirage is held in place by our beliefs alone, without our attention they vanish.
When your attention is focused on the NEED for a circumstance, you are simultaneously incapable of even wanting to manifest the thing that you truly want the most, because you cannot even see it. You can only see that if you turn your attention around and notice only your divinity.
You can’t focus on both circumstances and your own divinity at the same time, it is one or the other, this is what “You cant serve two masters” mean. Remember the analogy of the old school movie reel in the theater? You can not look at the screen and the light bulb at the same time. It is one or the other, and as soon as you get absorbed in the movie, it becomes real. It is not real, but you immediately get absorbed in the story. If you turn around and look at the lightbulb in the projector, the movie doesn’t seem real anymore.
If you keep your eyes on circumstance, you can’t see your divinity, and if you keep your attention on your divinity, you never fall for your circumstance.
When you’re keep your attention on your own inner divinity, located within your heart, you might experience bliss, or “God-state”. When you experience bliss, you are incapable of wanting to manifest something that is to your detriment, or something that you do not truly want, or something that is not the most ultimate of your desire, you are only capable of wanting to manifest what is in alignment with your truest deepest divine self. People call this “alignment”. It is an autopilot to manifest all your desires.
When you are in a state of addiction to circumstance, also notice the incredible urgency with which you will want to manifest your next fix, even if it isn’t good for you!
If this addiction is to a certain behavior from a specific person and a relationship, notice when you’re feeling bad how desperate you are to manifest anything, even a text message, your desperation is enormous and you will be compelled to try to manifest a text message.
Listen you do not want a text message.
You want love, depth, and the beauty of commitment, a life long happiness. Go straight for manifesting the happiness.
Come off your addiction by following the steps outlined in this program.
1) love and empathy for self
2) loving others
3) loving the whole.
4) Understand that you are being loved by the divine, and the divine sees no division.
Manifest bliss, “God state ” And then and only then manifest love, and when you’re in God state you will know what to do, automatically, and you will automatically know how to assume the state of being that ideal state of love already, it will come to you as a flash of inspiration. There are no manifesting steps in the world that can replace this.
If you are addicted to your circumstances, then step one is always.
Love and empathy for yourself. Follow that by:
2) loving others as thyself.
3) loving the whole, because there is no separation, we are as one consciousness, and division is unreal.
4) Understand that you are being loved by the divine, and the divine sees no division, and ultimately, it is as if you are being loved through. You realize that you are merely a receiver of divine love, there is no limit to divine love and you can never run out. Who you are, manifests and “out-pictures itself”. This aligned state of consciousness feels very active and vibrationally “high” and this is what Abraham Hicks calls “the high flying disc”. Many people who have not gone through the first three steps CAN find the high flying disc, but they very easily get bumped off, and fall of of it. You will feel much safer and much more stable on the high flying disc as you learn how to hold space for healing self and others.