Question: My Twin Flame is in love with someone else, does not find me physically attractive and isn’t in into me.
“I believe this person is my twin flame and they are triggering my humiliation wound. This person says they love me and I feel the same way. So after a while of being friends we ended up being physically intimate and it did not go well during the main event. He stopped me mid act and said he was in love with a third party that he had previously blocked, and that he had to get her back. He also said he did not find me physically attractive, and wasn’t really into me, and that was the truth, and he was being honest, and we would never have sex again. The next day he was feeling extremely guilty and said if I had any self worth I would block him and walk away. I haven’t, and he said again, we would never have sex again and would just be friends from now on. We went camping which was lovely. He said he still loved me. I am very confused as to what to do. I am not manifesting him per se, I kind of always assumed I had him because we spend almost every day together. But this humiliation during sex was beyond something I Can comprehend and I know I caused it but i dont know how to fix this short of losing weight, which is the reason I know hes not attracted to me right now as he clearly said. Any advice?”
YES GIRL! I have some advice!
First of all. You created this.
Why would I create something THAT humiliating?
I’ll get to that but first, before we get into that:
How are you confused as to what to do, when it couldn’t have been more clear?
Block him, walk away.
When someone says “Block me and walk away if you have any self worth”, we don’t stay and grovel.
Just because you have convinced yourself that you have a “humiliation wound” doesn’t mean that you have to stay and play there. BUH BYE humiliation wound see ya never again! (Whatever that is, I would throw away THAT label immediately, there is no such thing as a humiliation wound unless you keep saying that there is.) That label is not helpful.
I would skip the humiliation wound and go straight to “I don’t think so, not today, not on my watch”
…If you accidentally set the forest on fire you don’t have to stay and burn…
Who cares how you got there, for now you gotta get out.
If your house is burning you don’t discuss fire plan strategies, you get out.
That is where you are at right now, the house is burning, so it is time to get out. This has become toxic, and you are not able to manifest, so get out, re-stabilize and re-asses how you actually feel about him. That is, once you have found your stable place as a self respecting human.
Surprisingly, there is no urgency here. I know, it feels like there is an urgent need to fix this, and to do something, but there is where many people go wrong, you see, manifesting is not about doership. It is the exact opposite. There is no doing, there is a surrender of all doing, and a reorientation into being. Being involves entering into a state.
Right now you have fallen into a state of self humiliation, but a state can be exited and left behind just as quickly as entered it, once you become conscious of how you do this..
He is NOT your twin flame, that is pop-culture, new-age baloney, and definitely not Law of Assumption, and it has no basis in spiritual roots either, this label is hammered into place by people who are stuck in a toxic relationship loop, hence the “runner and chaser” bit. Later on in the post I will explain WHEN a person actually meets their perhaps so called twin flame, but for real. However, at this stage in your manifestation growth, this label does not serve you, in fact, it works against you. The reason for this is that thousands of videos and posts about twin flames are actually talking about toxic traits, and abusive relationships, and they are simply using the label as an excuse to stay co-dependent. Co-dependency is an addiction. Trauma bonded people have made case for the classic narcissistic abuse cycle as being equal to a “Twin Flame” but no. No no no.
That is false.
So SKIP THAT.
Let’s talk about manifesting instead of new age spiritual ideas that work against us…
When you manifest it isn’t just about what you do, it is equally important what to NOT do. What to skip. What you skip is the middle.
In this case there are two middles.
Two things to skip:
Humiliation wound, skip that.
Twin Flame, skip that.
Messing with the middle is exactly this: When you qualify your manifestation on something ELSE.
People confuse segment intending for messing with the middle, so this is worth repeating. Segment intending is just that. Segment intending. Messing in the middle has nothing to do with segment intending, it has to do with creating a false qualifier. Like “Twin Flame” or “Too fat” or “Humiliation Wound”.
You have a life to live that is fabulous, and that life does not have room for a looser to come and steal your vibe. Don’t throw your happiness away by allowing him to drain you dry because you are stuck manifesting the middle. Don’t blame him, don’t blame yourself, just check your crown, queen.
Go to the end.
Any end, it doesn’t have to be the final end, like your coffin. Kidding. It doesn’t have to be an official end, but go to the end state.
I know this question was preceded by another question so this insecurity has been manifesting on autopilot for a while. Your state of insecurity and unworthy lead you to this humiliating place, and you can walk away and create something magical in its place.
This is her previous question:
“My sp says hes not attracted to me physically because of my weight, but he loves me so hes willing to help me to lose weight. Meanwhile he has third party situations that he is using for sex. But says he doesn’t wanna use me for sex . I am confused if I should show him the door?”
I am realizing that he is rejecting her ALSO, because of her weight, and that he might possibly consider her only later, after she loose weight, as something, but as what? (as what, as friend with benefits?)
Okay, now we have the crux of the matter.
So never mid the Twin Flame, and the Humiliation would, the real reason why you set up those obstacles if this self hatred. He serves as your mirror so that you can see yourself that is all.
Now I understand:
I realize where the crux of the matter is.
Adding this to my answer as well:
There is a misunderstanding within you.
HE does NOT think that you are too fat.
YOU think that you are too fat.
Fix your inner state and allow the outer to reflect the new self confident you.
The first thing you can do is this:
Start a body positivity practice now. Make it a daily part of your life just like brushing your teeth and pooping. Never stop. This is your goal:
“I am so hot, I am amazed at how insanely beautiful my body is”
If you need more help let me know, and I’ll be happy to develop this further with you!
Manifesting is NOT a doing practice it is a BEING practice.
Start looking at all the plus size QUEENS out there, I’ll suggest Ashley Graham, please come up with your own ideas.
Find more examples.
There is nothing else for you to do, a woman does not go after a man, not by manipulation, not by using sex, not by being a doormat. ALSO, you are asking how to MANIFEST your SP, and well, manifesting is not doing anything. NOT doing, so what should you DO does not apply. There is no doing, and if you have to ask “what should I do” you have not understood manifesting quite yet, and that is okay.
Manifesting is BEING.
A woman who is manifesting love IS.
Looking over at your loves face, seeing them happy and in love with you, being on the receiving end of that loving gaze. Being. Not doing. Not convincing, cajoling, manipulating.
A loved woman just is.
She is the one.
Be the one
There is only one of you, so feel free to shine brightly, you are perfect. Your only job is to find a way to know that. Love has nothing to do with size, nothing at all. Plenty of EVERY size of person being respected, loved, and adored as byproduct of self worth. Self worth that no one but ourselves can give us or take away from us. It is so because you say so.
That is an inside job!
So…. some of you are asking perhaps….
Why is he NOT her Twin Flame?
Because the TWIN FLAME only appears when you are ready. (Just like the teacher appears when the student is ready.)
This is NOT a twin flame, this is a toxic trauma bond.
Stop attaching to this concept of twin flame, all it does is cause you to give your power away, and once you have given your power away, that is it, you can manifest nothing, you are lost.
Take your power back.
The twin flame never appears in a persons life until we love ourselves COMPLETLY, then we become what we seek. Godself. Then the mirror will appear (because it always does.) If it is mirroring humiliation now, it will mirror your true twin flame only when you fully love yourself. (And stop thinking that you need a twin flame at all.)
Also: Feel free to be in a single-season for as long as you want to, until you are capable of embodying self respect, self love, and self adoration. Or feel free to date around a bit to get your footing, date men who treat you well, just to practice what it feels like, and do it without feeling like you owe them sex for treating you to a nice lunch. A lovely conversation and genuine gratitude goes a long way. Practice understanding that nobody owes you anything, and you don’t owe anybody anything.
Believing that a toxic, humiliating rejection is a Twin Flame, i.e., “The One”, is a sure sign that this man is on a pedestal.
When you are manifesting love, especially if you are zeroed in on “The One”, your thinking 100% HAS to be –“I’m on the pedestal, no one else”. If you are not at the center, and you made something “out there” your center, you fail, and in love situations that only leads to suffering through doormat situations like this, and THAT is not love, let alone a Twin Flame. The pedestal always has to be occupied by ourselves, regardless of what we are manifesting. Has to.
Now you have a game plan.
You know that your inner self rejection has been reflected to you in the mirror, because he reflected it to you. The mirror has spoken to you clearly, from the mouth of your SP, so seriously, get to work on loving yourself, every inch of it. The mirror never lies about what is truly inside of us.
Love your self as you are.
Where you are.
Surround yourself with women who have found their sexy at plus size, and aren’t apologizing for it.
Stop making about what others think. (especially him)
Instead love you now.
LOVE COMES WHEN YOU LOVE
Plenty of people are loved no matter what size. Plenty of people are loved regardless of past trauma. Plenty of people are loved regardless. The habit of connecting love to being only worthy of it if…..insert false belief here…. MESSING WITH THE MIDDLE ….. is the ONLY thing that stands between you and the love you want.
Let me reiterate, her SP is reflecting back what is already hidden inside of her. Once that self loathing is exposed to daylight, and transformed to self love, once it is no longer there, he will no longer mirror. He will either fade into the distant past, (the state that has him in it will become lifeless for her) or he will suddenly shape up and become the night in shining armor, but neither of those will happen as long as this desperate status quo is upheld.
When we feel self love, there is absolutely no importance attached to somebody else’s view of you, it ceases to matter.
LOA and manifesting means that you recognize self as God, and let me ask you what God would do here?
-“Oh right, I remember now, since I am God, I can create a love that feels perfect and right just for me! And since I am God, and I’ll make a love that is crazy about my body, wants commitment as much as I do, and takes the time to make sure that I feel safe and loved.
Since you are God, how about creating rock solid self respect and self love?
Now, some of you will say, but she can just manifest him to change! And that is a resounding yes.
But not until the power structure has changed, not until she has reclaimed her God status. Once she is back in power, the yes, all bets are off, and I have seen people change so fast. But the first one to change is ourselves.
So what are Neville Goddard’s manifesting tools that can be used here?
- Imaginal scene! Where is your imaginal scene at?
- Pruning shears. What are you not SKIPPING? Skip Twin flame. Skip humiliation wound. Skip too fat.
- Revision. NO he did not say that. Nobody ever said that to you . Hear the words that you want to hear come out of everyone’s mouths,
- Inner conversations. “Oh how lovely you are”
- Congratulatory conversation. “I am so happy for you both, you look so happy together”
Open that toolbox and dig in.
Grab the tools from a point of power.
Power over your state:
You are not your state, your state of “I’m too fat” is just a state, and now I have shown how to find your way to a state of “My body type is perfection” and “I love how my body looks“. That is a shift of STATE, and that is what has to happen FIRST.
Once you have discovered that the state is malleable, that the state is NEVER bigger that you, and you have gained control over your state of being, you can choose any tool from the toolbox that you like.
You have to gain mastery over your state, and that is done by desiring to see a change. Then the new state, with you now on the pedestal, has to become “your most common dwelling place”.
“You must so want it that you are willing to remain faithful to your change in position. You cannot assume you have your desire for one little moment and then return to your former state, for if you do you are a double-minded man and will not receive anything from the Lord“
Dr Anna Bäck