Myth busting: “You don’t have to heal to be with your twin flame”
We all have the divine principle of the one God inside. This is consciousness bliss and divine wisdom.
But even if we all have this within, we have different amounts of divine consciousness, and we all have a different remedy to propel us forward in our spiritual growth, or towards God realization, and this difference can embody itself in your life in ways that vary from person to person. What I need to grow is different from what you need, and some people will greatly benefit from meeting a twin flame and for others it will not make any difference because they aren’t ready for a higher devotional level of love.
“You can’t manifest your twin flame.”
This is NOT true, you can manifest anything. For example a specific teacher or mentor, or you can manifest a Guru to come into your life. A specific person is someone who lives within you already, and when you want to develop a certain aspect of yourself, this inner, pushes out. So to speak.
So, someone said that you can’t manifest your twin flame but why wouldn’t you be able to when you can EVEN manifest your Guru, and you can EVEN manifest to find God inside of self.
In fact there are some similarities between a Guru and a twin flame and the first similarity is the mirroring.
The divine principle is the same as The guru principle. A real guru is not just a cult leader who brainwashes people, that is just how the west has experienced some of this stuff, but a real Guru is the same as your inner divinity.
The twin soul is also the same as your inner divinity, and there is no separation.
The twin flames hear the call for each other from within, and know instantly that you have met someone completely different, and that something is very different. There is a calm feeling of belonging, at MINIMUM.
One of you might be aware of what exactly is going on. But one of you might also be completely unconscious of what is going on. Just like the disciple might not understand the guru, because they are not ready yet, the same one of the twins might actually not understand why it feels the way it feels. The teacher appears when the student is ready, they say, and this is partially true, because the time has come to evolve spiritually, even if you don’t understand it yet.
A difference between guru and twin:
The guru mirror is deliberate, completely conscious and the Guru knows you inside and out (is made from within) and knows exactly how to get you through the next step and the next.
The twin mirror is most likely unconscious, feels chaotic even, but it can become deliberate, and it can be used positively and gently as soon as you become aware of this role of the twin.
So, let’s go deeper into this. There is only one consciousness, the divine consciousness. The same consciousness looks out of every pair of eyes, now, in the past, and in the future. There is no other consciousness but the one and the same.
Some people have a natural ability to experience this oneness, and they are for example psychic, and some people can call you in, on this level. A guru can “call you in.”
You don’t “go looking” for a guru, you might not find the right one, you might end up in a cult if you’re not careful. You NEVER HAVE TO go looking for a guru because YOUR guru WILL call you in.
It is not because of sectarianism, it is NOT because YOUR guru is better than another.
It is NOT because Jesus is better than Krishna. It is not because Yoganada is better than Baba Neem Karoli.
It is because YOUR heart responds with total LOVE and devotion to someone who is right for you. No one can decide this for you, and most people in this day and age are nowhere near ready to meet Guru and go so hard core into spiritual growth, but many people ARE ready to meet their love. 70% of married people answered in a survey that they were not married to their soulmate or twin flame, but they would leave their spouse if they met their soulmate….
Our spirit guides us to what is appropriate for us at this time, and for those people who are ready for spiritual oneness, but not to such a degree that they will go off to a mountaintop and be hermits, or India to live in an Ashram, the twin soul comes into their life. It is still just an outer representation of an inner readiness.
Readiness for what?
For Love and devotion.
Your Twin called you into what?
Called you into the divine consciousness that radiates within and through each and every one of us..
“Imagine how you feel when you are loved, now do the same towards others” This is the divine principle acting through you.
If your twin flame showed up in your outer circumstances, it is a sign that your total love and devotion, your heart chakra, is ready to open. From now on, your willing service, your discovery of unconditional love, and your desire to GIVE grows and takes the place over your previous need to GET. Your awakened heart is the call. Nothing else.
So a twin flame is your path to your divinity, and it is NOT a narcissistic trauma bond. The amount of twin flame videos that describe an abusive relationship dynamic, is downright frightening.
I have been in a traumatic and abusive relationship, and the pain of it and the cycle of love bombing and discard CAN make you feel completely nuts, but this is never a twin flame. It is a wake up call no doubt, but don’t confuse a narcissist for a twin flame.
I have made a few videos before on this, but I need to repeat it because I still see very alarming questions and comments that hint at very toxic relationships.
The twin flame myth, as it is made up by neo-spiritual cults, is false so don’t bother convincing yourself that those abuse stories have ANY merit. Rather, the concept of the divine principle calling you from within, in any form, including in the form of a romantic love relationship, is part of nonduality. The two leading to the one.
The spirit of love fully frees a soul. Imagine a laughing confident child running around the house shouting and laughing. The spirit of love from his mother has freed him.
There is just as strong of a possibility of meeting a narcissistic guru as a narcissistic lover. Think of how many abusive cults you hear about. Do NOT confuse your abusive relationship, and do NOT think that it is a “false” twin flame, there is NO SUCH THING. Just don’t go down those rabbit holes. Abuse is abuse, toxic is toxic, trauma bond is trauma bond. An abusive cult is an abusive cult. It is not a “false” divine connection it is JUST abuse. Peel the confusion off your eyes, do the work to free yourself, and get on the REAL spiritual path.
An example of meeting your own inner divinity, so to speak, face to face in the shape of another person:
When Krishna Das met Ram Das the first time, he knew. He JUST knew. He (Krishna Das) was in a band, and maybe he would have been the next Bob Dylan, or who knows, but instead he quit the band, and moved in with Ram Dass, went to India, met Baba Neem Karoli, and completely devoted his heart and soul to this Guru. When you have found your anchor to the spirit within you just feel different.
When a dear friend of mine met her guru the first time, some fifty years ago, she knew. She JUST knew. She cried all the tears that had previously walled off, her heart just opened, and all the numbing that she had done her whole life, just to get through what she experienced as a tortuous life, just crumbled The pain that she had pushed away melted into tears, as she sat in his lap and just bawled like a little girl. This Guru, he held her, and he radiated his awakened compassionate and unconditional love to her soul, and she was forever changed. That is it. AND he never started a cult or abused people.
But the difference with the twin flame, is that, Your twin and you, you are not awakened gurus so your understanding of what is happening will be much less clear. It doesn’t matter though. You are called to heal everything, and to open your heart to your divinity. One of you might catch onto what is happening and the other might not.
What your twin soul will have in common with the guru principle is the mirroring, this is so strong and so obvious that no matter how unconscious you both might be, you WILL notice that every single misunderstanding or argument WAS, a mirrored experience. It WILL be like looking into a mirror, and let’s face it, that is not always a comfortable experience.
The guru does this deliberately and with perfect grace, but the twins might do it in a clumsy unconscious way that leaves you feeling hurt. But at NO TIME does a twin soul DELIBERATELY hurt the other. This is important. Your Twin flame will NEVER deliberately hurt you. Never. The love between you is unconditional, and the hurt caused is not on purpose, so if you are with someone who doesn’t care if you are hurt, this is not your twin. It is probably a trauma bond, and you must do healing work. If you and your twin hurt each other, one will leave to stop the cycle of pain. This is a good thing. You should not want to stay when you are unintentionally hurting someone.
The reason for this video is not just that I am “worried” for everyone who is being deluded into believing that abusive relationships are twin soul relationships, no, you have your own inner guide, and you can follow that. No matter what, you do have a connection to your own source and that is always your best guide. You know what is true for you.
However, there is something else, that I have heard people say out there in the twin flame communities, and that is that you “can not manifest your twin flame”, so just to be sure that you understand: You can manifest anything.
There is absolutely nothing that you can not manifest, EXCEPT for things that do not exist in the universe as potential. So, in other words, the only reason why you can’t manifest something would be because it does not exist as potential. Something to think about for sure.
You can manifest ANY specific person, for example, you can manifest a desired piano teacher, to be your teacher. You can manifest YOUR GURU to find you. The question is not IF you can, but rather HOW. If you are manipulating, rather than manifesting with love, then you are pushing away, not attracting. So if your energy is manipulative your energy is repulsive, not attractive, in an energetic sense. Think of two magnets, how there are two sides. The hint of “how” to manifest your twin flame, is in the mirroring aspect of the twin souls.
If you are ready to manifest your twin flame, you have to do the work on yourself that is all. YES, This goes under the category of “self concept”, and for everyone who keeps asking if you have to heal to manifest love, in this case it is a yes, because the twin is your mirror.
The healing is necessary, you have essentially arrived at a stage in your spiritual growth where you are ready to break these chains that you have put on yourself. Your heart chakra is ready to open, and you can help that along by doing spiritual healing work on yourself, and once you are more “whole’, you will automatically create wholesome relationships and situations. This is what helps the Twin flames feel safe together. Stability of emotions, and a wholesome personality that focuses on spiritual strength over material gains or emotional needs.
The shackles of fear that keep you away from your own spiritual growth, and awakening, are the same shackles that keep your Twin soul away from you. You are ready.
“When a mood against someone or for someone arises, Do not place it on the person in question, But remain centered.”– Lord Shiva
Let me explain HOW you would go about manifesting a Twin flame, just in case you didn’t quite get it from the mirroring concept yet.
First, let’s talk about love from a much deeper perspective than what you might be used to, you are ready for this if you are a twin soul. Let me read to you about hearts and loving, from a famous Sufi,
Hazrat Inyat Khan:
The Smiling Forehead:
The Heart Quality:
“Types of Hearts
One may see hearts of different qualities:
there is a golden heart, a silver heart, a copper heart and there is an iron heart.
The golden heart shows its color and its beauty; it is precious and at the same time it is soft.
The silver heart shows itself inferior compared to the golden heart; yet it is of silver that the current coins are made, so it is useful.
There is the heart of copper of which pennies are made, and pennies are useful in everyday life; one has to use them more than gold and silver. Copper is hard and strong; it needs many hammerings to bend and shape it, to make something out of it.
And then there is the iron heart which must be put into the fire before one can do anything with it. When in the glowing fire the iron has become hot then one can make something out of it. But how long does the heat of the fire last with it? A very short time! The blacksmith must be always ready; as soon as the fire begins to glow he must make something of it, for if he lets the moment go the iron will turn cold.
Besides these different aspects there is a heart of rock, and there is a heart of wax.
The heart of rock must be broken, it must be cut in order to make something out of it; nothing reaches it, cold or heat, sun or water have little effect upon it.
The heart of wax melts as soon as it is heated. You can shape it without breaking it; it is soft, you can turn it any way you like.
There is also the heart of paper you make a kite with. It flies and goes up; if the wind is in the north it goes to the north, if the wind is in the south it goes to the south. You can control it as long as the wind does not blow it out of your hands and as long as the wind is strong enough to hold it in the sky. But when there is no more wind it will drop down, and so you will try it again-like a kite.
Are these sufficient examples for the heart of man? There are numberless hearts, each different in quality, and once we begin to look at them and to distinguish their peculiarities and qualities we begin to see a living phenomenon, a miracle, every moment of our life. Is there anything we can compare the heart with?
It is something that dies and then lives again, something that is torn and can be mended again, something that can be broken and be made whole again, something that can rise and something that can fall, and after falling can rise again, and after rising can fall instantly if it was to fall.
There is a heart that can creep and a heart that can walk; there is a heart that can run and a heart that can fly.
We cannot limit the various actions of the heart. Imagine how the heart can be illuminated in a moment and how it can be darkened in a moment, how the heart becomes a maze for us to enter without ever being able to get out again, how it can become confusion and how it can become paradise.
If one asked: Where is the soul? Where can we see the soul manifest to view? Where is paradise? Where is heaven? Where is joy and pleasure?
If one asked: Where is love? Where is God? We can answer each of these questions by saying: it is in the heart.
Imagine how wonderful and at the same time how obscure to our view! If we call the heart the spark of fire then we can see its different aspects: as sympathy in the form of heat, as longing in the form of fire, as affection in the form of glow, as devotion in the form of flame, as passion in the form of smoke that blinds the eyes.
That which gives courage to stand firm in the battlefield, that which enables man to struggle throughout his life, that which gives him the strength to endure all that comes and strengthens him to have patience – what is it? It is the heart. If the heart fails, man falls, if the heart rises, man rises.
When the heart is directed towards one ideal, one object, one point, it develops, but when the heart goes from one point to another it is weakened, for then the fire element of the heart dies. For instance, a little spark can be brought to a blaze if one blows upon it, but the flame is put out by the wind. Why? Because blowing directs the air to one single spark, but the wind goes all around it and extinguishes the flame.
When man begins to say, “I love everybody” you can be sure he loves nobody. But when he says, “I love my mother, my father, my son, my daughter, my friend, or my beloved,” then you can believe that he has taken his first step on the path of love. Can anyone in the world claim love and at the same time know love? The moment one knows what love is, one loses the claim. One can only say, “love” as long as one does not know what it is. Before saying, “love” one must first show it by jumping into the fire.
As A Minai, the great Hindustani poet, says, “Your first initiation in the order of lovers is to become nothing.” And another poet says, “Oh love! You have taught me that lesson first which many others learn at the end.”
When a person says, “If you will be good to me, I will be good to you; if you will be kind to me, I will be kind to you; if you will be nice to me, I will be nice to you; if you will respect me, I will honor you” – it is like saying, “If you will give me ninepence, I will give you a shilling.” It is business. When a person says, “I wish there was somebody who loved me, a friend, someone,” he is very mistaken. He will never be loved; he may wait for eternity.
Love never asks love of someone else; love is more independent than anything else. It is love which makes one independent.
There is love that is like an infant. It must be taken in the arms, it cannot stand; if it is not taken in the arms it cries. It is not mature, it is not developed, it is not yet love.
There is love which is like a wobbling child that has not yet learned to walk. It likes to walk but it likes to hold the cupboard, the chair, the table, someone else, in order to go so far. That love too is undeveloped.
Then there is love that stands on its own feet and walks by itself. That is independent love, and you can depend upon it.
Love shows its quality by constancy. Where there is no constancy there is no love. People have wrongly understood the meaning of love; very often they do not know it. The real meaning of love is life itself, the feeling of life, the feeling: I live. That feeling itself is love.
So what is love? Love is God. And what is God? God is love.
As long as one is involved in selfish thoughts and actions in life one does not understand the meaning of love.
Love is sacrifice, love is service, love is regard for the pleasure and displeasure of the beloved. That love, once it is understood, can be seen in all the different aspects of life: love for those who depend upon one, for those with whom one comes in contact in one’s everyday life, love for those of one’s country, of one’s race, for humanity. It can expand even to such an extent that there can be love for every little creature in the world, for the smallest insect. This expansion is like a drop of water expanding into an ocean. Man-limited as he is-the more he sympathizes the more he expands and the further he reaches heavenward: thus he can become as great as the Absolute.
Therefore, instead of teaching the lesson of indifference, as many mystics have done, the Sufis have learned the lesson of love, of devotion, of sympathy, and have called it the cultivation of the heart. It is known by the word suluk, which means the loving manner.
What we call refined manner is only a manner behind which there is no life. When manner is directed by the heart quality then it becomes living manner, the manner that comes from love, and all such attributes as kindness, gentleness, tolerance, forgiveness, mercy and compassion -they all spring from this loving manner.
The great teachers and prophets, and the inspirers of humanity of all times have not become what they were by their miracles or wonder-workings; these belong to other people. The main thing that could be seen in them was their loving manner. Read the lives of the prophets.
First of all see the way Jesus Christ had with all those who came to him. When sinners who were condemned and expelled by society were brought to the master, he received them with compassion. He was not on the side of those who accused them, he was on the side of the accused. That was loving manner. The fishermen could never understand the master-even the most educated men would not have understood him, let alone the fishermen. Yet the master lived with them, moved with them and won their hearts in the end. That is loving manner.
Think of the Prophet whose beloved daughter was killed by an Arab, and when this man was brought before him and said, “will you forgive me?” the Prophet forgave him. When his worst enemies were brought before him in rows, arrested, waiting his command, he was king, conqueror and judge, the one who could do anything he liked to them. When they asked, “What are you going to do with us, Prophet?” he said, “You are my brothers. God may forgive you. I pray for you.”
The compassion of Buddha went to every living creature, to the smallest insect; this shows the expansion of his love. Remember therefore that for higher attainment on the spiritual path study is secondary; all knowledge of occult and psychic law, all magical powers, are secondary. The first and most important principle is the cultivation of the heart quality.
One may ask: How to cultivate the heart quality?
There is only one way: to become selfless at each step one takes forward on this path, for what prevents one from cultivating the loving quality is the thought of self. The more we think of ourselves the less we think of others, and as we go further the self grows to become worse and worse. In the end the self meets us as a giant which we had always fought; and now at the end of the journey the giant is the stronger. But if from the first step we take on the path of perfection we struggled and fought and conquered this giant which is the self, it could be done only by the increasing power of love.
What do I mean by love?
It is such a word that one cannot give one meaning. All attributes like kindness, gentleness, goodness, humbleness, mildness, fineness, are names of one and the same thing. Love therefore is that stream which when it rises falls in the form of a fountain, and each stream coming down is a virtue.
All virtues taught by books or by a religious person have no strength and life because they have been learned; a virtue that is learned has no power, no life. The virtue that naturally springs from the depth of the heart, the virtue that rises from the love-spring and then falls as many different attributes, that virtue is real. There is a Hindustani saying, “No matter how much wealth you have, if you do not have the treasure of virtue, it is of no use.” The true riches is the ever increasing spring of love from which all virtues come”
-Hazrat Inyat Khan
Let’s discover how to manifest your twin soul back into your arms again. Back home to you.
First, affirm with me:
“I am identified in love with the Spirit My soulmate, or my twin soul,
and God protects my interests and the Divine Idea now comes out of this situation,
and I feel safe and secure, I feel at home and protected”
If you have met your twin flame, it is because you have desired deep down in you an unconditional love. I love above the ordinary. An extraordinary love. Either you’re aware that you have been desiring this extraordinary love, we are unaware but for sure this is a desire of yours.
No, not everyone experiences an extra ordinary love a lot of people are content with the kind of love that they have, but a full 70% of married couples would say that they are not with their soulmate, they are not married to their soulmate, and just as many people would say that they have not met their soulmate.
Well there are a lot of people who would not be in a relationship unless it is with someone that they have a very strong soul connection with, they would rather be single until they meet the right person. Either way, if you have met your twin flame, you are one of the people who wants to be only with that special love, deep love is important to you, and feeling an unconditional connection is important to you. We manifest who we are You see, and you have manifested your twin flame.
We don’t manifest what we want, we manifest what we are. So there are coaches and Youtubers out there who say that you cannot manifest your twin flame, it turns out it’s the very same people who are also saying that you don’t have to heal!
So their message is false on both fronts yes you have to heal if you have met your twin flame, and yes you can manifest your twin flame, you manifest your twin flame by healing yourself.
Chances are that you have experienced some kind of family trauma while growing up and this created the friction in the twin flame relationship and now you must go and heal.
You want that deep love, unconditional love, but you can’t have that unless you’re willing to give it, and to BECOME it, and you can’t give or become it, if you have walls and boundaries up around your heart that prevent Love from coming in and prevent unconditional love from going out.
You must be ready to see The Divine in this relationship, you must be ready to put divinity first, before everything else if you’re not you’re not going to be able to be with your twin flame it will be too hard for you. You have to be a very brave person to blast your heart chakra wide-open.
Once you have healed and once you are able to love unconditionally, you will mirror this freeing, gentle, unconditional, strengthening, sustaining, safe and secure, passionate and willing love. This is how you manifest your twin flame, your mirror, your own divine principle that is mirrored out.
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