L I V I N G W E L L N E S S

Ignore 3D like THIS! Manifest your specific person | You put your obstacles there by yourself

Let’s get serious about this specific person LOA stuff, there are so many different ideas floating around, but everything boils down to the simple law of assumption. 

If you have been practicing a vibration of irritation, or boredom, or jealousy, or or heart ache, or anything other than love, then this is what is showing up for you, not the other way around.

It is like Wayne Dyer said, “You’ll see it when you believe it” sort of, but the truth is that you don’t even have to believe, you just have to stop practicing the vibration of disbelief! But when this is applied toward love then there is ONLY one thing that is complete love, and that is unconditional love. We don’t love that way, at least it is extremely rare, nor do we have to. But because we don’t  know how to love, we create obstacles.

We experience the opposite of love here in this physical body because this an experience of duality, and without opposites there is no duality, there is unity, oneness.  There is no way to experience life without duality so without the opposite of love there is no love it is natural.  

Life is also natural, that is, it is of the natural world, consciousness in unity and it is undivided. Oneness. But natural life builds towards unity by using duality, and this is also how you can practice devotion to one God and still gain closeness to consciousness-god-I-Am.  There are increasing steps of getting a little closer and a little closer to oneness, and understanding that the obstacles that you face are not a problem will help you manifest greater love everytime there is a problem.

I have said before that we place our own obstacles in our own way for our own benefit, but not so that we can learn a lesson, but rather so that we get closer to ourselves. This is more true in love than most other areas, because we go into relationships absolutely unequipped for love. We are not ready for the criticism, the anger, the fights, the rejections and all these areas where we are not set up to handle love we ruin it. Everything negative is meant to be overcome with love, but we don’t know how to practice this. We truly hardly know how to choose the right partner, so it is not surprising that once we are in a relationship we destroy what was originally a wonderful romance. 

We also think that our problems are caused by the faults of the other person, but actually the faults of the other person is our manifestation and it is also our own call for ourselves to generate love from within rather than demanding it from our shadow world, or mirror world.  If you have picked a partner who is able to work through difficulties with you, great, but if you have not, then you can manifest greater love just by your own understanding of how to transcend circumstances and overcome fights. 

Circumstances are not bad, and fights are not bad. This belief that something has gone wrong just because something seems opposite is just causing unnecessary anxiety, or even panic if you ask me because this is how I  have felt in the past. Panic, because there was a fight, panic because they did something that i couldn’t predict, or that  made me feel insecure, or even jealous.  This is just an indication that we are, obviously not, practicing unconditional love yet, and why would we be, it takes a great deal of understanding of the law of assumption to even begin to understand the REASON for practicing unconditional love. If you are new to LOA it might sound like I am telling you to be a doormat, and I am not, I am showing you the path to practicing the corrected vibration.  If you experience any negativity, it is because you have practiced feeling a vibration that is its match, and so somehow, this shows up in life, and very commonly in our relationships. Congratulations because now you can see it, and now you can practice what real love feels like. Does it feel scary?  Don’t worry, this practice can’t hurt you.

The goal in love can not be to not have any issues, if it is then you are preventing your partner from being themselves, and vice versa. So loving each other through fights is just perfect practice to becoming more loving.  

Even after you have a stabilized relationship without much fighting, you still need to continue to use the growth of the relationship to hone in on your unconditional love skill, and this is a  practice of scheduling in the planned fights and this is what keeps the spark alive.

You know how great make up sex is, well, you don’t have to have a fight or a break up to have great make up sex, but you do have to keep rising above your irritation, or your jealousy,  your criticism, your anger and so on. Remember NOTHING has gone wrong just because you hit a snag, rather, everything has gone right soo rejoice instead of laying on the couch crying! You have all the manifestational power in your life, so don’t suddenly fall for the reflection, and start believing that the reflection has the power. 

Remember again, this is not the same as being a doormat.

 To continue to deepen and strengthen your relationship with your sp, your differences can’t just go fully ignored, like all  peace, love and happiness, in fact the most spiritually evolved couples on the planet might not even be fully able to do that without suppressing their emotions. Suppressing emotions creates enormous resistance and resistance  creates excess energy that causes chaos, but scheduling in your disagreements for a specific time every week creates stability and a peaceful playing field for both people to grow. Suppressing emotions is basically just a way to gaslight yourself, and you might be prone to doing that already, a lot of people are, but don’t misunderstand the basic goal of transcending circumstances. You are not going to  do this with an ulterior motive, and you are not doing this to keep the peace, this is the exact opposite. You will actually address every problem that you perceive as a problem, but in a very different way, the way that nobody taught us. The way that generates more and more closeness, and a greater and greater capacity for real love.

Keep all fights on a schedule, and don’t indulge in spontaneous spur of the moment arguments, that leads to chaos and resentment, and when you do have your scheduled fight, it is a reasonable civil fight, and when time is up, then time is up, and you have to go back to being peacekeepers again. If you don’t do this and you try to force that immense infatuation feeling to be the only feeling that is fostered in the relationship, you will eventually have swung that pendulum as far as it can go, and it will swing back by itself, without you being prepared for it. You will see people who teach or coach this kind of love relationship, often experience some backsliding. The backsliding is fine, it is not an indication that anything has gone wrong, like I already said, everything has gone right but it is an unnecessary instability. Most people don’t want that level of instability in their relationships, so schedule your fights even if you believe that you are perfect at unconditional love, because I bet you, unless you are the Buddha, Paramahansa Yogananda or Guru Ma or someone, you are not loving as unconditionally as you think, and that is normal. That is nature’s way. 

Some people kill off their emotions and live utterly apathetic, in order to keep the peace, but this is definitely not what is meant by transcending circumstances. I think that it is an easy misconception to make, but you know in your heart if you have built a wall around it to keep it safe. The scheduled fights would help an apathetic person to come out of their safe shell again.

We are utterly unprepared for the feelings that come up in love, because we believe that it is SUPPOSED to be only love and nothing else, but now you know, it is supposed to be everything else too. If it came up, it was meant to be for you.

Some day, we will all be Buddhas, and at that point we will have learned to transcend even the worst of the worst, just like Buddha, just like Jesus, but for now, let’s focus on the smaller offenses that we are currently capable of transcending. Oh and don’t let people on the spiritual path guilt trip you into peace, love and understanding without giving space to your emotions. This is spiritual gaslighting, and that is not equal to manifesting love. 

Your vibrational alignment happens when you stop fighting within yourself, when you stop denying yourself and when you release resistance that comes from not accepting the emotions that you have. 

The magic is  to keep a balanced opposite in the world of manifestation, or it will swing back on its own. People who experience a happy relationship for life all know how to do this innately, but everyone else thinks that everything has gone wrong when you suddenly come upon a natural feeling of all the opposites of love. 

Let’s look at what some couples who were married for decades had to say about the secret ingredient, but before we get into what you should do in your relationship, let’s take a look at what people who are serial divorcers  all say not to do:

Don’t ever be with someone because someone else pressured you to. I got married the first time because I was raised Catholic and that’s what you were supposed to do. Wrong. I got married the second time because I was miserable and lonely and thought having a loving wife would fix everything for me. Also wrong. Took me three tries to figure out what should have been obvious from the beginning, the only reason you should ever be with the person you’re with is because you simply love being around them. It really is that simple.

Basically the most common reason for why someone felt that they were with the wrong person and their marriage failed was  “being with the person for the wrong reasons.”

Some of these wrong reasons included:

1. Pressure from friends and family
2. Feeling like a “loser” because they were single and settling for the first person that came along 
3. Being together for image—because the relationship looked good on paper (or in photos), not because the two people actually admired each other. (shallow)
4. Being young and naive and hopelessly in love and thinking that love would solve everything.
5.  Being in a relationship to “fix” yourself. This desire to use the love of someone else to soothe your own emotional problems inevitably leads to codependency

So what do people say who were happily married for a long time:

– You are absolutely not going to be gaga over each other every single day for the rest of your lives, and all this ‘happily ever after’ bullshit is just setting people up for failure. They go into relationships with these unrealistic expectations. Then, the instant they realize they aren’t ‘gaga’ anymore, they think the relationship is broken and over, and they need to get out. No! There will be days, or weeks, or maybe even longer, when you aren’t all mushy-gushy in-love. You’re even going to wake up some morning and think, “Ugh, you’re still here….” That’s normal! And more importantly, sticking it out is totally worth it, because  . . . in a day, or a week, or maybe even longer, you’ll look at that person and a giant wave of love will inundate you, and you’ll love them so much you think your heart can’t possibly hold it all and is going to burst. Because a love that’s alive is also constantly evolving. It expands and contracts and mellows and deepens. It’s not going to be the way it used to be, or the way it will be, and it shouldn’t be. I think if more couples understood that, they’d be less inclined to panic and rush to break up or divorce.

Your vibrational alignment happens when you stop fighting within yourself, when you stop denying yourself and when you release resistance that comes from not accepting the emotions that you have. 

Another happily married person says:

Happily Ever After doesn’t exist. Every day you wake up and decide to love your partner and your life—the good, the bad and the ugly. Some days it’s a struggle and some days you feel like the luckiest person in the world.

Most people will never experience deep and utterly  unconditional love precisely because they think that the “in love” emotions, the infatuation is the love and inevitably, that runs out, and when “it” runs out, so do they. The unconditional love that you long for is waiting for you, on the other side of the negative feelings you were taught do not belong in a relationship. How do you get there?

You schedule your fights, and that way you remove the chaos of the swing of the energy structure, or pendulum, as reality transurfing calls it. You fight on Thursdays, between 5 and 6, and the rest of the time you practice rising above.  For example, But do fight fair, no abuse and no low blows. Fight the way adults should fight, bring up your expectations of them, and hear them out on their expectations. Make your demand, and accept their demands. 

Why do you have to tell them your demands and expectations and listen to theirs? Because it teaches you both respect. One person who is succeeding at marriage says:

My husband and I have been together 15 years. I’ve thought a lot about what seems to be keeping us together, while marriages around us crumble (seriously, it’s everywhere . . . we seem to be at that age). The one word that I keep coming back to is “respect.” Of course, this means showing respect, but that is too superficial. Just showing it isn’t enough. You have to feel it deep within you. I deeply and genuinely respect [my husband] for his work ethic, his patience, his creativity, his intelligence, and his core values. From this respect comes everything else—trust, patience, perseverance (because sometimes life is really hard and you both just have to persevere). I want to hear what he has to say (even if I don’t agree with him) because I respect his opinion. I want to enable him to have some free time within our insanely busy lives because I respect how he spends his time and who he spends time with. And, really, what this mutual respect means is that we feel safe sharing our deepest, most intimate selves with each other.

How do you suppose you ever get to this level of respect if you are afraid to tell them what you want, and if you are afraid to hear them out about what they want?

Another man who has been happily married for decades says:

Respect yourself and your wife. Never talk badly to or about her. If you don’t respect your wife, you don’t respect yourself. You chose her—live up to that choice.

Now, for everyone who have lost themselves in the circumstances, and simply can’t find the way to rise above:

Let’s recreate the first moment you fell in love, or create for the first time, if you have never fallen in love, and let’s create love at first sight.

This is the magic, but REMEMBER,  it has to keep a balanced opposite in the world of manifestation, or it will swing back on its own.

 You find excuses to be together all the time,

You finish each other’s sentences, you  feel so  safe, so grounded and secure.

You think of your sp often and you think things like “Oh, he would love this” or “I think I’ll get this for her“.

You feel like warm sunshine on bare skin, you feel like the freshness of the air is enlivening, you notice birds when they chirp, people seem so happy to you and when you see a couple holding hands you get warm inside and think of your sp,

Being in love is emboldening, and you know how to express your feelings of adoration with confidence.

Being in love feels like you want to give all of yourself to your specific person.

It feels like you’re a more whole version of yourself, not because you weren’t whole before, but because now you’ve met someone who reminds you, constantly, through their actions, words, and energy, that you are worthy of love, this is your person and you know it. 

Being  in love feels like you have a better understanding of yourself and of the world. 

You know that your specific person will guide you closer to your purpose, and  support you in your endeavors.

Being in love is  equal giving and receiving of acts of kindness, of generosity, of your very best self, you don’t hold back your respect or admiration or adoration, and you receive the same in full measure. 

Being in love is calming and satisfying it is thrilling, a little scary, and exciting.

It is unknown and  you feel  vulnerable.

You can’t wait to see the person, and they are  feeling the same thing back.

You can see that their eyes light up with joy from seeing you.

When you meet them the first time there is an instant stirring in your soul, it is an instant knowing on a  soul level, and you think to yourself, “Here he is!“, or “here she is”.

It’s fun, it’s funny, it’s sensual, it is sexual and it’s a magical, it is sweet and it is tender, and it is a  sacred connection no other soul can ignite within you.

You know that everything could go wrong, but here you are, being vulnerable and falling in love anyway. Loving in spite of it all. You are brave and take steps you wouldn’t do for anyone else.

Falling in love feels like  a bubble around you, and it protects you from the regularness of life, inside the bubble, magic takes place.