Love for Love’s sake | Uncoupling love and fame/beauty | Manifesting

Love for Love’s sake | Uncoupling love and fame/beauty | Manifesting

When you use beauty. Looks, fame, money or something else to get love, or if you think “Oh when I become famous they will love me” or “when I am thinner, and have had my boob job and my lips filled, then I will be able to find love” then,  you open yourself up for victimization of abuse.

Now, it doesn’t meant that if you do have those things or want those things that you open yourself for abuse.

It is when you make those things your pathway to love that you become vulnerable.

You won’t recognize true love in another until you recognize it yourself, so if you don’t recognize true love in you without those things, then, it is in yourself that you begin to look for a solution. You have the responsibility to seek for unconditional love toward yourself.

And IF you make beauty fame or fortune your path to love, your chances of being betrayed, or being used, or being abused also have increased.

It is NOT because there have suddenly become more of those abuser people in the world.

It is NOT because you are a magnet to abuse and draw those people toward you.

A user, betrayer or abuser or perpetrator is always looking for a victim anyway, regardless of what you are up to.


But you see, you happen to also be looking for love in such a desperate way (even if it is not perceptible to anyone else that you are doing that, you might just seem beautiful, successful or famous, or whatever to everyone else) but to the perpetrator you are noticeably interesting FOR your beauty or fame or success and they will poke for an in, and they will notice quickly if there is an in to your psyche, because you will ignore the first red flag that they set up for you.

That is right. You will ignore the first red flag that they set up for you, just to see…

(That was a long sentence, but read it one more time.)

Then, you will continue to ignore their test red flags, and they already know that they got you, early on.

This might not be a totally conscious plot on their part, but that is a different video for a different day.

They would even admit to “knowing peoples hidden truths really well”, and that sort of thing. They can see “through everyone” etc. This is true, because just like an empath, they DO see through weaknesses, and they know when someone has enough beauty fame or money, to make it worth their while to exploit this crack. There is a crack in everything and that is where the light gets in but it’s also where the dark gets in.

There is a crack in everything and that is where the light gets in but it’s also where the dark gets in.

seashore and clouds scenery

There is no sense in building a fortress around you for protection because that just keeps the good out just like the bad, but this is where healthy boundaries come in. A strong person with a good healthy dose of self love don’t need any boundaries that are artificially in place, because just like finding vulnerabilities and cracks in people is the specialty of a perpetrator, sealing those cracks and spotting bs is a specialty for truly self compassionate people.

Notice how differently the initial meetings go for two different people:

The initial meetings between the perpetrator and intended victim, if there is a notion that you don’t deserve love unless….you are beautiful…thin….famous…rich…. The needy person grasps for admiration which is tied to their self love, and willingly overlook any number of bad qualities to get their fix.

Or the meeting of the perpetrator and the person who is totally solid in their self validation. “I am deserving of love for love’s sake.” This person does not need anything from anyone and no amount of flattery gets you in the door, only a genuine connection built in a normal way, the slow way where friendship and trust is established over time the way it truly is. Red flags are easily spotted and honored.

There are natural boundaries that exist within humans and if you have them you also respect them in others. Natural boundaries are totally fluid, they assess the person specifically not generally, and sometimes there is a brick wall boundary, and other times the heart can be fully involved with others.

Let love become disentangled from your looks, from your fame, and from your financial status. Let love be uncoupled form how you view the true qualities of others. If it is hard for you to do this, then it is worth it to be single for a season, while you sort this out, because it will give you life long protection against perpetrators of any kind.

Don’t underestimate the incredible skill that is behind a person  who is a natural at victimizing, many people have been surprised at how easily and quickly they became victims, and they had no idea that it could happen to them, I know first hand.

I also know that there is a personality type that is seemingly immune to this, and it is the person who does not connect loving with “getting love through fame” (or beauty or success) The person, who gives love to themselves before expecting it to come from outside sources.

Self love is currently being bashed again in a LOA community, don’t fall for it, it is the most important thing you need. Only someone who wants to take advantage of you would say that you don’t need self love.

I have had enough celebrity clients, stunningly beautiful clients and profoundly wealthy clients to tell you with confidence that none of that is equal to the love that you want.

Not at all.

The two have nothing to do with each other.

The second you become ugly they will be gone.

The second your fame takes a hard dip they’ll be gone and out the door.

And that is in best case scenario, worst case, you will find yourself at a defamation trial. (I am not saying that one or the other of the two on trial right now is either victim or perpetrator, I’ll let the jury decide and I’ll let you think for yourself.) I am just saying that when you don’t believe that you are worthy of love, flawed, imperfectly perfect, not looking like a supermodel, not the world’s most famous person yet, then you have exposed a vulnerability to the world of users and abusers, but you can absolutely seal that vulnerability long before any abuse happens to you. You can seal it right here and now, but you have to be comfortable with the idea of expecting true and real love, even if you were horrendously disfigured, or broke. And you yourself have to stop looking to the outside for validation. You have to learn to validate yourself, for who you are, for real.

Not faking it.

You can’t fake it.

Faking it is what puts you in the spotlight for the users. 

Anna Bäck

portrait of couple hugging in forest
Photo by Vladimir Konoplev

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